Reactions after attending a class on dismantling racism…
Unable to look up, hands in pocket, butterflies in stomach.. I was unsure if this reaction was for the activity we were doing or was it because of whatever was happening with my course work at school [ineligibility to continue my studies, as I questioned the system and rebelled against what I thought was inapopropriate], but I choose to assume that it was an impact of both. The silence and the judgmental criteria for the activity were disturbing. The grey shades between black and white pushed us back to reality, that not everything is on either side of the fence..
I have always faced problems comprehending with any system that tries to categorize everything around them. The first debate ever initiated by me, though in Indian context, was about the necessity of tagging every relation. India is a cultural mélange and to make the social fabric smooth, a system of tagging every relation has become a tradition. But, I always felt, that there are so many relations that cannot be tagged, so many different emotions binding us with a single person, that it is not possible to describe it in one “relational binder”. And the same dilemma came up today, with extreme intensity.. Because, most of the words used in the activity were judgmental. Though harsh, it made me realize, how in real life, sub-consciously, I tend to do the same with everyone around me. A good reason to pinch myself, next time when I find the pattern repeating with me..
I come from the land, where emotions are valued over everything else. People prefer to be poor and happy, than disturbed and rich. A land where life is considered fluid, and needs the energy of emotions to flow, rather than the power of machines to govern life.. The land, where Mahatma Gandhi had said, that in case of dilemma, put yourself in the shoes of the poorest of the poor you might have seen (feel what he might feel), and then make a choice that he would make.. The country, where so called “stupid simpletons” like me, pray to “Mother” Earth in the morning, begging forgiveness for stepping on her. Where I have been taught, that everything around has an element of life, everything can feel, can sense, and can radiate; and this is not a myth, but a proven fact in quantum physics. (These sentences might not necessarily be true to every Indian, but this has been the Indian philosophy over ages.)
[This class makes me think of all of this…] We have not yet been too far in the class [of dismantling racism], it is just three classes At this stage, it has already been over-whelming to see how emotions play a role in every day functioning. Specially, because my observations here [at the school of social work] have been more disturbing than anything. Where we are taught to treat other humans as machines, where we are supposed to put ourselves in the shoes of know all, and consider that something wrong has happened with others’ life.. Rather, on a note of sarcasm, I feel using my mechanical engineering background, the way I would repair every broken car. (Now that itself is a myth, because every car is not repairable, but here we seem to be taught that every other human’s life is curable, by the “know all” me.) Where emotions play last role in any conflict, and the whole system of this education seems not to consider the primary factor that heart pumps the blood, and not the brain.. I use the word ‘we’ in all these statements, because it is a collective procedure.. Also, because I was surprised to know the reactions of my cohort, who are eager to learn the system than feel the emotions.. Who would still debate that the role play of emotions does not seem to take us anywhere, or that the real life situations are going to be different. Sure, they are going to be different, but nowhere easier than this. There is going to be no ‘safe space’ in real life, it is going to be as rough as possible.. And for me, this seems perfect simulation to understand what emotions are..
I personally feel, the world would be a much better place to live in, if there would be a day, when not one, but all would understand that, ‘Life is like a flowing river’, it flows irrespective the dams, the causeways, the mountains, or the slopes.. That every river meets ocean, and every human will be no more one day.. Neither would all the systems exist nor would the systematic approach.. What has, is and would ever exist is, mass and energy.. E=MC2
I am waiting to see, where this all leads us..
