The recent attacks...

The recent attacks got us roaring, agitated, fearful, blah.. blah.. blah.. The adjectives can go on! But, one adjective that caught my eye was, CALM.. Read on further to know about it!

"Calm — that emotion that seems so distant and unnecessary in such moments of crisis, will be critical to get us through this crisis. And the danger of thoughtless retaliation comes not just from our governments, but also from our citizens. Our country has large numbers of minority religious communities, and there will be enough demagogues eager to whip up anger against convenient targets. We can choose, at this critical moment, to let divides like religion dominate and frighten us, sidelining our real issues. Or we can adopt fundamental reforms and policy ideas to win the battle against militants. Terrorism is fundamentally about igniting terror — about overwhelming us with fear. We have to resist this fear rather than be subjugated by it."

(By Nanadan Nilekani, If we can keep our heads; The Indian Express)

Friends' Kiran Fellowship

Mission:
We define the Hindi word Kiran as meaning a sun beam, a ray of light and hope! FKF is the ray of hope that will join minds across the boundaries of nations. The Friends’ Kiran Fellowship (FKF) has been established to promote global understanding by providing a social work student with the opportunity to live and work in India for at least 6 months or one year following the completion of his/her master’s of social work degree.
The first Friends’ Kiran Fellowship will be awarded to a student at the UNC School of Social Work. The Fellowship will provide the student’s airfare, and support for travel and living expenses, while engaging the student in voluntary community work in India. The Fellowship period will start after the student completes his/her master’s program in 2010.

FKF instituted by: Friends’ Society (National & International Governing Council)
Pune, India

FKF Award includes:
1. Round-trip airfare to India
2. Food and lodging costs for the stay in India during the Fellowship period
3. Financial support for local work-related travel while in India
4. Full cooperation in making program adjustments or accommodations to ensure that the experience fulfills the mission of fellowship

FKF Award does not include:
1. Insurance
2. Costs related to passport, visas, or other travel documents
3. Personal expenses (other than housing and food)
4. Costs of Hindi language course (to be completed prior to travel to India)

FKF Fellow’s Obligations:
1. To provide volunteer service working with a non-governmental organization (NGO) for a period of 6/12 months. The Friends’ Society will assist the Kiran Fellow with securing a position with an NGO that is congruent with the Fellow’s field of interest.
2. Assistance in kind (books, pencils, or any other material the organization may require) to any of the Indian NGOs involved in the Fellowship program.

FKF Selection Criteria:
1. Strong interest in India, international fellowship, and cultural exchange.
2. Shared belief in principles of fellowship and mutual understanding. The student shares the FKF idea of true understanding of developing countries comes best through in-depth, extended work experience in those countries.
3. Participation in group discussion with other applicants on an issue of concern to both, developed and developing nations.
4. Personal interview of the candidates selected at group discussion.

Application Process:
1. Submit Resume by email: friends.society@gmail.com
2. Submit an application project proposal that focuses on a project to address any aspect of community life in India by December 25, 2008.
3. The project does not have to follow a specific format. The application can focus on the Indian culture, diversity, social work, or any other topic that might interest the student.
4. Some focus might be helpful, such as how this will help in future social work career, ways this can benefit UNC SSW or the US as a whole.
5. The project should demonstrate the student’s passion to discover the developing world through experience in India.
(The application is the test of creativity and innate passion of the student to have international experience.)

Commitment by the student:

1. Post selection, before leaving:
a. The FK Fellow would prepare a project proposal for the one year stay in India. This will enlist in detail, the goals he/she intend to achieve from the program.
b. The FK Fellow must complete a language course in Hindi in Fall 2009 / Spring 2010.
(This is not necessarily a credit course. The student is expected to learn basic conversation skills in Hindi.)
c. The FK Fellow will gain exposure to the Indian culture through involvement with the Indian student community at UNC and in North Carolina, by actively participating in Indian Students’ Associations.
d. The FK Fellow will complete a preparatory program of reading/research to understand the dynamics of developing world through Indian perspective; this program will consist of self-selected works as well as topics and literature recommended by the FKF selection committee.

2. In India:
e. Full time commitment to voluntary social work during the period of Fellowship.
f. Voluntary work with NGO(s) of choice, mutually decided upon by the selection committee and the student, in any safe region of India.
g. Presentations about various aspects of both the USA and India; these presentations will be made to Rotary Clubs and other community-based organizations such as the World Peace Centre.
h. Submission of a written report evaluating the Fellowship experience within 3 months of the end of the fellowship. (The guidelines for the same will be provided at a later date.)

Timeline:
1. Application period opens : November 10, 2008
2. Registration deadline: December 25, 2008
(To register, email Resume and project proposal: friends.society@gmail.com)
3. Submission of the application and presentation of the application project to the faculty panel: January 26, 2009
4. Presentations review by faculty panel in USA and in India: February 26, 2009
5. Group discussion, only shortlisted candidates: March 2009 (first week)
6. Personal interview (in person/on webcam): March 2009 (second week)
7. Announcement of FKF Award winner: April 01, 2009, 1700 hrs – On the occasion of the 10th Foundation Day of the Friends’ Society.
8. Fellow completes Hindi language course: Fall 2009/Spring 2010
9. Fellow’s presentations and interaction with Indian community in USA: Fall 2009 and Spring 2010
10. Leave for India: July 28, 2010
11. Installation of “Friends’ Kiran Fellow” in India: Friday, July 30, 2010; 10:00 a.m.
12. Baton Passing Ceremony: Past Fellow passes FKF baton to new Fellow: Saturday, July 30, 2011; 10:00 a.m. (Only if the fellowship is institutionalized)*
13. Depart for USA: Monday, August 01, 2011*
(* Depending on the time frame of Fellowship.)

Funding:

Committed:
1. Flight tickets: Personal savings from Rotary Peace Fellowship of Darshan P. Mundada
2. Friends’ Society (NIGC) President’s fund
3. World Peace Center (Alandi), MAEER’s MIT, Pune, India

Anticipated: (from India)
4. Educational institutions
5. Rotary clubs
6. Industrial clubs
7. NGOs
8. Individuals

FKF: Points to be noted
1. Only one fellowship will be awarded for 2010.
2. This is a pilot project and if successful, depending on the funding, can be institutionalized under the aegis of the UNC School of Social Work.
3. The primary goal of the program is to develop cross-cultural understanding and gain experience in a developing country.
4. The program is meant to be individually tailored to meet the requirements of the student as well as the selection committees in USA and India.
5. It is anticipated that at the end of the fellowship year, the student will be equipped with a global perspective of life.

Assi.. Tussi..

Aiwwehi..

At Qawwali night, I was surrounded by people whom I have fallen in love with years back! The Punjabi's! Please do not ask me, what I like of them. I do not know myself. But I am amazingly attracted to them, I accept.

I wonder, what capacity they have as humans, who migrated in masses during the partitions, and still, carved their own niche and space in both the nations. What is their will power, that builds them so strong, that you hear their laughter roaring in midst of pain? I do not wish to generalize, but the small amount of Punjabi's I know, have made up my opinion.

Last week, Mom n Dad were in Amritsar. The Golden Temple.. The place I dream to be at. The place I had a carved dream for.. And today, I was surrounded by the one's whom I admire. Beat it, today is Guru Nanak Jayanti!

I am sure to meet many more on the journey, who will make me fall in love with them much more!

War & Peace..

Hamare Hindustan Pakistan mein.......

The words immediately rang a bell in my ears. For the first time in my life, I was surrounded with a mix of Indians and Pakistanis. After all these years of life, when I have been hearing both the sides, reading about both the sides, interacting with both the sides on individual level, today was the first time I was surrounded by my brotherhood, that was separated due to one line on paper. Was it just one line? Or was it... The question itself is incomplete!

I am just back from a Qawwali Night, by Amjad Sabri. I am back, but it is still going on and would go on possibly till 03:00 a.m. or later.. It has the capacity to hold on to audience! It held on to me too. And that is where the words were uttered by the maestro! The words touched my heart, and so also of the audience, from both the sides of the boundaries!

Yesterday, I attended a Human Rights Anti-Conference! A conference that was not in conventional meaning a conference, but it was a gathering of artists and an attempt to understand human rights through heir perception. The opening segment was by an Iraqi sculptor, who lost everything he had in the war. And he posed only one question, "Is war about who wins and who looses for the moment, or is it about the eternal impact it has on humanity?"

When I link up above both incidences, I realize, everyone wants peace. You, me, army, the politicians, everyone. What differs is, the approach..

Dream..

Dream..

The lights are out, as I prepare to sleep
Between the sheets I notice the soft
Warm moonlight streaming through
The window above my bed.

I pause and smile thinking of you and
The love we shared. I settle in clutching an
Extra pillow to my chest laying in this huge
Bed all alone. My thoughts drifting over the
Days events, the people I have talked to and those
I have missed. Things I did and things still that
Need to be done.

I think of how much I love you, how much
I miss you. I wonder if you are feeling
Well and doing all right. Smiling, I think
Of how I have watched your eyes light up in
Excitement, the look of anticipation in them.
Remembering the look of your smile as it crossed
Your face. How you made me feel so loved.
I think of the times we were together and the
Love we have shared as I continue to drift
in sleep.

During the night I feel you quietly crawl
In bed next to me, snuggling in, your warmth
Easing my fears, I feel your soft caresses and
Hear the words of tendernes and endearments.
Smiling I bask in the warmth and contentment of
Your love, then quietly continue to dream those
dreams we hoped to share.

Morning comes once again, as I slowly begin
To wake a tear slides down my cheek as I
Realize it was just a dream.
You are not there, and neither are
my dreams.

From: http://www.lovelypoems.com/Dream.shtml

Diwali Greetings!

Diwali..

Hello all! Wish you loadsa greetings, love and life on the occsion of this awesum festival of lights!

Cheers!

Essence of life..

Excerpt from the Speech given by Chetan Bhagat at Symbiosis..

Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.


One thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

"Don't be serious, be sincere." !

(Thanks to Damsel..!)

Nostalgia..

There are times in life, when it hurts! There is a pain, not articulated in words. You are running on a track, in momentum.. And you realize, after all the running, you are still at the same place, as if you were running on a belt!

Memories haunt you when you least want them and they would desert you when you wana play around with them!

I am amazed at the life's duet..

The caravan..

वही कारवां, वही रास्ते, वही ज़िन्दगी के मरहले
मगर अपने-अपने मक़ाम पर, कभी तुम नहीं, कभी हम नहीं |
-शकील बदायुनी

vahii caaravaan, vahii raaste, vahii zindagii ke marhale
magar apne-apne maqaam par, kabhii tum nahiin, kabhii hum nahiin
-Shakil Badayuni

The same caravan, the same roads, the same vicissitudes of life
But sometimes you don't reach your destination, sometimes I don't..!

(From the email of Mr. Manish Modi)

The Zeroth Infinity of Eternity..

Good morning! I was wondering this morning, it has been long I posted something worth while online. But as you all are well acquainted with my writing skills, something worth while from me, as someone puts it, 'it would be a bit too much of expectation!"

Anyway..

Abhay happened to send me a courier a few days back. What was it so important that made him spend a few thousand of rupees in that courier? It was a Tee with HH the Dalai Lama's picture on it. One of the best gifts I have ever received. Since that day, I have been wondering, what is it in His Holiness that he attracts millions of people world over? I have been studying him and the Tibetan Government for one of my papers and spent hours reading online literature and watching various video clippings. I had an opportunity to read a few of his books too. But still, I feel incomplete. The more I know about him, the more I realize, it is nothing. I have made many attempts, that have proved my incompetence, in explaining what is it in him, that inspires me.

While wondering how could I best put it in words, I remembered an email, a friend of mine sent to me after the Friends' Society had an opportunity to meet His Holiness in Pune, India. Respecting his choice, I can't name him here, but, he has put in words, the emotions, the feelings, the aura of His Holiness; the way I would never be able to articulate it. The words just seem perfect..

Friends, I am sure the words to follow are going to leave you with the lingering feeling for more.. It is start of a quest, quest for purity, quest for understanding the "Zeroth Infinity of Eternity.."

The email..

"
Hi Darshan. I wasnt getting sleep for some reason, so i sat up and was reading something. Then next thing i knew was i was writing about my meeting with the Dalai Lama. it just flowed, without me having to think, and especially towards the end i had no clue what i was writing. it was done in a matter of a few minutes. it's just three paragraphs, and very crude, but just thought i'd send it to you. feel free to edit etc. just one small request... just in case you want to share it with anyone else, or use it, let it be anonymous. this is too personal to share with my name on it. thanks..

________________________________________________________________________________

Great people have an aura surrounding them. Usually, this aura hits one like a particularly forceful gust of a particularly powerful storm. On meeting them, one is left reeling, overcome by a feeling of breathlessness, shock, awe, excitement, and, inevitably, a bit of mental restlessness and turmoil.

His Holiness The XIV Dalai Lama has possibly the strongest aura I have ever encountered so far. But it's not a violent, in-your-face gust. It's more like a warm breeze blowing gently, caressingly, against one's skin, and then penetrating inside to warm the deepest corner of one's soul, on a freezing day. It's an aura whose power is hidden by its silent unobtrusiveness and the unassuming air of His Holiness. It's an aura that's not unlike an iron fist in a velvet glove. It causes no breathlessness. Instead, I found myself inhaling deeply, like one does when one comes upon something truly wondrous. It causes no shock and awe. Instead, I felt adoration, wonder and an inexplicable feeling of having been blessed.It causes no excitement, restlessness or turmoil. Instead, I felt an incredible wave of tranquility wash over me. And yet, for all the peace surrounding His Holiness, the meeting made such an impact on me that it left me quivering, and still gives me goosebumps.

The Dalai Lama combines the free spirit of children with the wisdom of the ages. The result is there to be experienced when He speaks. His words are full of a deep sincerity. They are profound without being complicated. They go straight to one's heart, without trying to impress the intellect. It's only in retrospect that one's (suddenly humbled) intellect goes back and marvels at the depth of His words.

There's something about the Dalai Lama. I don't know if it's the positivity, so strong you can almost feel it against your skin, that surrounds him. I don't know if it's his eagerness to reach out to the average man. I don't know if it's the calmness he radiates, inspite of the hardships we all know he has faced. I don't know if it's the wisdom he possesses and shares, or the unconditional love and affection with which he greeted us, insignificant strangers, or the lingering feeling of having been blessed... I really can't put my finger on it, but there's something about the Dalai Lama that makes one accept, unquestioningly, the aptness of the title "His Holiness".
"

Husband crisis... ;-)

(The blog was getting a bit too personal.. Humour might be a good change.. ;-).. This one sent me rolling with laughter..)

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

"Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slowdown in overall system performance -- particularly in the
flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,
such as Romance 9..5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed
undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0, The Ashes 3.0, and Golf Clubs
4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but
to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate"

..........................................................................

"Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is

an Operating System.

Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try
to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0
update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0
to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in
the background that will eventually seize control of all your system
resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are
unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might

consider
buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Support"

(From Internet forwards)

Promise

This is one of my most favorite poems.. I may not agree with the line of 'loving more than a mother loves her newborn' in certain perspective, but still it is one of the best poems.. The poem that has more than a singular meaning..

God's promise to mankind..
Nature's promise to evolution..
For those in love, a partner's promise..

A promise form one soul to another..


"PROMISE..

If I had to promise you something, what would it be?

I can't promise that you would always be comfortable…
Because comfort brings boredom and discomfort.

I can't promise that all your desires will be fulfilled…
Because desires whether fulfilled or unfulfilled bring frustration.

I can't promise that there will always be good times…
Because it is the tough times that make us appreciate joy.

I can't promise that we will be rich or famous or powerful…
Because they can all be pathways to misery.

I can't promise that we will always be together…
Because it is separation that makes togetherness so wonderful.

Yet if you are willing to walk with me,
If you are willing to value love over everything else..

I promise that this will be the most rich and fulfilling life possible.
I promise your life will be an eternal celebration,
I promise you I will cherish you more than a king cherishes his crown,
And I shall love you more than a mother loves her newborn.

If you are willing to walk into my arms,
If you are willing to live in my heart,
You will find the one you have waited forever…
You will meet yourself in my arms…
I promise."

(Poem by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Art of Living Foundation, India)

Realization..

Some one just asked me, don't you feel lonely? Away from friends.. Away from family.. New land.. New people..

Today, I boarded the bus in the morning, to the reality that I was not home with my own country men.. My loved ones.. There is going to be no badi game or KNP Coffee at the end of the day..

Now, you may wonder, after more than a month, why would I still be brought back to reality? Actually, last 2 days, I have virtually spent with a single person, chatting, dreaming, thinking.. As if I was back on those streets.. Not only drenching in those rains but soaking in the love.. Being one with myself and my life, not to forget the catalyst, the love, which brings me to my life.. And, then I wake up to the brutal Monday, the weekday morning, which makes me realize, there's more I need to include in my picture of life! (career)

But still, to all those who ask me, am I home sick? Do I miss Pune? Do I miss people..?? My reply is..

अकेला हूँ मगर फिर भी अकेला मैं नहीं रहता,
किसी की याद मेरे दिले में रहती पासबां होकर !

(akelaa huun magar phir bhii akelaa main nahiin rahtaa
kisii kii yaad mere dil mein rahtii paasabaan hokar)

"I may be alone, but I am not lonely;
Someone's memory lives in my heart, protecting it [from loneliness]"

(Sher contributed by Vijayalaxmi Modi)

The Change...

River flows..

Life changes..

After summer, start the colors of fall!! And yes, colors are changing for me too. Life's beautiful again.. River's in full flow.. It's broken the walls.. It's broken the bridges.. It's flown through obstacles.. And, now the river flows freely, full of energy.. full of life.. full of love..

The Zeroth Infinity of Eternity.. A time where there's so much to say.. so much to express.. and no words.. It's just the :) which doesn't fade and speaks for itself..

And the WORDS play in my mind.. WORDS (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FmuZHBOOC4) for Damsel.. :)

Love redefined..

After reading this one, a friend of mine was inspired to quote this..

"
I read it some where, and it seems really gr8 even today...

'Love is an intricate, long lasting dance, where your choice of partner & sense of balance matters the most.
I guess if u find the right one, it never fades, the bloom of romance might not always wither, like ways u never FALL OUT of luv:)'
"

A perfect reply I suppose! I was looking for something which will balance the the tilt of the article and it seems pretty much balanced now!

Thanks Damsel!

Love..

Love.. Falling in Love.. Life time love.. Pure love.. Platonic love.. ..

Love is a word defined the most, spoken about the most, confessed the most.. And still, it is never understood. It makes the world move, but it ain't moved by words itself. It is an emotion most essential for life, and still it is the one which imparts the maximum pain!

I have been reading this book, "The Road Less Traveled", a gift from Sanyu and her family! In the second unit of the book titled 'LOVE', the writer, M. Scott Peck attempts to define love. Possibly one of the best definitions I have come across, especially of the concept; the concept which I have been trying to define since my rendezvous with it, which lasted much more than a rendezvous..

"FALLING IN LOVE..

Of all the misconceptions about love, the most powerful and pervasive is the belief that 'falling in love' is love or at least one of the manifestations of love. It is potent misconception, because falling in love is subjectively experienced in a very powerful fashion as an experience of love. When a person falls in love what he or she certainly feels is "I love him" or "I love her." But two problems are immediately apparent. The first is that the experience of falling in love is specifically a sex-linked erotic experience. We do not fall in love with our children even though we may love them very deeply. We do not fall in love with our friends of the same sex - unless we are homosexually oriented - even though we may care for them greatly. We fall in love only when we are consciously or unconsciously sexually motivated. The second problem is that the experience of falling in love is invariably temporary. No matter whom we fall in love with, we sooner or later fall out of love if the relation continues long enough. This is not to say that we invariably cease loving the person with whom we fell in love. But it is to say that the feeling of ecstatic lovingness that characterizes the experience of fallin in love always passes. The honeymoon always ends. The bloom of romance always fades.
"

(By M. Scot Peck, from The Road Less Traveled)

Relative pleasure..!

मसरूर निगाहों को काँटा भी गुलिस्तां है,
मायूस निगाहों में गुलशन भी है वीराना !

masruur nigaahon ko kaantaa bhii gulistaan hai
maayuus nigaahon mein gulshan bhii hai viiraanaa

When the beholder is delighted, even a thorn appears to be a pleasure glade,
When the beholder is melancholy, even spring in its blossom appears forlorn!

(Sher contributed by Vijayalaxmi Modi)

Pain of Seperation..

इश्क़ की राहों में ये ज़माना
हिज्र के काँटे बोता क्यों है
-इनायत ख़ान परदेसी

ishq kii raahon mein ye zamaanaa
hijr ke kaante botaa kyun hai
-Inayat Khan Pardesi

Why are the streets of love
Strewn with the thorns of separation?

(Sher, thanks to Manish Modi)

Seperation

पास अगर तू नहीं शहर है वीरां तमाम
तू है तो आबाद हैं उजड़े हुए काख़-ओ-कू
-इक़बाल

paas agar tuu nahiin shahar hai viiraan tamaam
tuu hai to aabaad jain ujade hue kaakh-o-kuu
-Iqbal

Without you, the city is desolate,
With you, even deserted cities are full of life!

Love-Life-Death

ख़ुद फँसी फ़न्दे में बुलबुल क्या ख़ता सय्याद की,
गुल पे आशिक़ होके अपनी ज़िन्दगी बरबाद की!

khud phansii fande mein bulbul kyaa khataa saiyaad kii
gul pe aashiq hoke apnii zindagii barbaad kii

The lover got caught in the web on his own, why blame the hunter?
He fell in love with the flower and ruined his own life!

NB In Urdu poetry bulbul, meaning nightingale, is used symbolically to
denote the lover. Gul is the beloved one. The hunter could mean the
world / adverse circumstances.

Sher contributed by Vijayalaxmi Modi

Pain..

तर झरसी ऊपर गरी कज्जल जल छिरकाइ
पिय पाती बिन हीं लिखी बाँची बिरह बलाइ
-बिहारी

tar jharsii uupar garii kajjal jal chhirakaai
piya paatii bin hiin likhii baanchii birah balaai
-Bihari

Heat-singed below, and tinged above with tearful stains;
He reads her note’s unwritten tale, of parting’s pains!

Bihari Satsai, trans. Rupert Snell

Silence..

Silence.. thats what remains!

Stillness.. thats what penetrates!

Love.. thats what evaporates!

Pain.. thats what manifests!

Friendship.. thats what is missed!

Family.. thats what survives!

Life.. thats what you live..!

Muma..

Hand in hand...

One hand holding mine.. Other hand in her husband's hand.. He bends down to kiss her forehead.. And.. And everything goes still.. No movement.. No reactions.. No life..

One year down the line, when I look back, there's absolutely nothing which seems to have vanished from my memory. It still feels as if I will knock the door and enter the house to the most beautiful compassionate caring smile! I will enter in the world of love, affection and warmth of a mother! And yes, I still do enter the world, though not physically.

Have you ever wondered, what is it that makes these relations? I was absolutely not related to her, but I was still bonded as strong as the bond of blood is. It was a bond which was established in first meeting, survived the few years of her physical abode, and continues with her heavenly presence! It is bond which till date stays physically embarked on the gold! In literal sense, it has been ALCHEMY..!

We get attached to people with whom we share no blood line.. And contrary to this, we take for granted the blood relations closest to us.. Screw them for the wellbeing of other! Take them for granted.. Ain't the relation with mother, a perfect example?

I am just left speechless with this whole affair of relations!

But the question still remains, HOW? How are these relations formed? Why? So many times in life, we just meet someone to realize, if it would not had been for that person, it would not had been for what we are. I know, the nature has its own patterns and surely, when we grow up and look back, the picture will manifest itself. But right now, it is unanswered.

Is the life this frail? Or is it the strength of life? Or is it at the end, the flow of the river? Cos, a death stops nothing.. Disappearing of a loved one from ones life stops nothing.. Everything continues! Life moves on! Yea.. Thats the right phrase, life moves on! The river flows!

Not only life moves on, life dances! The cycle continues..

Mean Machine..!

The second blog in the thread continues.. This was also started in the US..

I'd started this interesting blog last Monday, speaking bout my "Typical American (Desi) Weekend" Experience.. Though my writing skills made it really boring! ;-) And yes, it served its purpose, Ashish did catch upon a good sleep! lol..

By the time we reached consensus bout the days plan, it was evening! And Wine Tasting was the plan.. More than the destination, the mode to reach the destination is exciting.. CONVERTIBLE WOLKSVAGEN.. Blasting punjabi music..

We drive for about an hour before we reach a fence.. Drive in and park our car!
There's this amazing gothic structure to our right! Front is a huge wooden door! And right besides our car is parked a merc.. Guys, Merc is not a big deal, but a yellow merc.. Thats called showing off.. It was the meanest machine I'd ever seen! For the first time I felt bad for not carrying a camera. though the ever presence of Nokia handset compensated for the same!

Ailla.. This blogs seriously becoming descriptively serious..

And inside this Gothic structure, was taking place one of the most revered rituals of life, union of two souls.. Wedding bells were ringing! Bride in this beautiful garb.. Bride groom in elegant suit! And I am sure, they were gonna drive down the Yellow Merc.. The luck pouring mean machine..

The Weekend..!

The blog I had written wen in the US.. THE SUNDAY..

Weekend..

This word has always left me in awe. There may be hardly any other word as in demand. Come Monday & Tuesday, the weekend is in past referrals. Wednesday is looking forward to the coming one. Thursday, the weekend heat starts evolving. Friday, past noon, it is weekend mood! Saturday and Sunday, do I need to say anything??

I used to always wonder, what it is that is associated with these days? Cos, for me, it was Thursday, Saturday and Sunday, the busiest day. Just that there was a difference in the routine. So, the curious dumb head of mine wanted to have one such corporate weekend! And here, in the developed world of the States, in the bay area of California, that's what I am enjoying! Yes, enjoying..

Yesterday, Sunday, woke a bit late, like at 07.00 am. Was on net till 9. Went out for a walk at 9, but ended up with bro in his car, to pick up breakfast and coffee! Come back home and.. And is relaxed! No rush, no hush.. No enforcing bath, nor any chores.. We relax and munch over the breakfast for around an hour. An hour more is spent on discussing the plan for Sunday. And, then a plan comes up for shopping. I don't wana get out of that lazy mood, but cos the shopping is necessary, I decide to move my lazy bums.. And to my astonishment, I have to just move them from the dining to the sofa! Cos the old fashioned shopping is out.. Darshan, which world are you in? These are the days of IT. We log in on few sites, and start looking for products. Ranging from the spare parts of the toilet flush to a whole house.. From the necessities of an expecting mother to the extravagant need of branded stuff for an adult.. All's available at the click of a mouse.

Finally, done with shopping, we relax. OR are we really done with shopping? Hmmm.. depends on the perspective. Cos we have actually purchased nothing, neither has anything been delivered. We have just yet shortlisted the products! There will be more research done over the day. Much more factors thought about, and finally it will be ordered! Wow.. I never can imagine my tiny li'l brain processing all this data and trying to figure out a solution. Thats why probably my shirt never matches my trousers, and I need to use the weekdays defined socks, so that I dont end up wearing same combination for the whole week! Yes, its true.. I am still dependent on mom and sis for this!

Hmmm.. So, now we choose to move! I go for a shower. Come out to find myself hungry again! Wat a capacity this small size of digestive system has! By the time I am making my plate, the phones are already ringing and the plan being made. It is not easy to plan.. Especially when you have as many options as your mind wants to think of! After hard work of 2 hours, a plan is finalized. And the best part is, it is already 4 pm in the clocks and the place we need to visit is open till 5. Now what? Again the frenzy calls and the plan is altered. We finally find a winery and wine tasting is going to be the evening!

I am excited to be there! Looking forward to the evening..! AND.. Is the best part of the Sunday..

Coming up in next post..!

Metta's Definition of Marriage

Full of excitement, I wrote a mail of my decision to take admission at the University of North Carolina to one and all. Thank you for all your best wishes..

Now, what's the relation of my admission and the definition of marriage? Please go ahead and read..

"When I was choosing a man to marry, wise people said that I should keep my eyes very wide open when dating, and half closed when married. For me it was just a reminder that once I had made a very careful decision about my commitment, I needed to be confident about my decision - that it was right for me - and not get hung up on every little flaw in my husband. So, I give you the same advice. Because you have made your decision, I encourage you to be confident that it was the right choice, learn about your options to excel, be proactive, and come to learn." .. Metta

The above is an excerpt of the mail I received from a friend called Metta, who is my senior at the Department of Social Work at University of North Carolina!

Ain't it just amazing.. And thought provoking too.. Surely, start of a new chain!

Excerpts..!

Ad-hoc writer, I think thats what I have become!

I had written more than 90 sheets and around same number of emails during my 90 days US experience in 2004. Every moment of it was documented, kinda relegated to the personal history of Dee Dee.. (Yeah, it sounds boring! ;-)..) Though, the interesting fact is, that the writing exercise itself screwed my first infatuation, but YEAH, the emails got me in the relation of my life too.. :)

But, during the last Paris trip or for matter of fact, this round the globe one too, I have not been able to relocate my writing bearings! A stroll on the road gives rise to a thousand ripples of thoughts, few become strong enough waves, but none become the ink to touch the shores of paper! Just thought of a list of topics I'd love to write bout.. Here's a glimpse, I'll elaborate, wen my brain starts coordinating in a better sense!

1) The "American Desi Sunday".. It was one of the best days of my trip! An insight in what I always dreamt of as ideal relations, ideal lifestyle; for that matter, everything we term idealistic or more so, dreamy stuff about the happy (couple oriented) lifestyle! (Ok, tat will need a lot of elaboration!) And, yes, it is just amazing! Surely, a part of our lives has to be this, especially with our life partners! Its gonna be on my priority list..!!

Unbelievably, this led to a dream come true for me too! "The Universe conspires to get to you, your dreams!" Yes.. IT does! Bro Abhay, small miracles, do happen! And yes, they happen over the meanest machines! This time it was a drive in CONVERTIBLE VOLKSWAGEN, which led me to... Everyone else, keep on guessing!

2) The clashing American Universities.. Those who know the tumultuous ride of my admissions, help me elaborate..!! ;-) (Sanyu, u r gonna be the best fit for it!)

3) I stand at this point! On my west, 6400 miles is the place from where I flew 10 hours back, San Francisco. On the East at 6800 miles is the place where I'll fly on Tuesday, back home, Mumbai. So is spread the where abouts of the world on all the directions, with their National Flags marked on the dome! Have you guessed what I am speaking about?

The Eiffel.. YES.. The top of The Eiffel! "Zeroth Infinity of Eternity" I carried this mark on my palm for 4 years! Shared with my close Engineering friends, Mridul and Ash.. Debated the concept with the super brains, Chini.. Lived the concept with my life, my love.. And still, there's so much more to it.. It amazes me, the concept and the Eiffel! I am sure everyone is left spell bound, who so ever has seen it! How a structure can stand above all, in the History of mankind, as a story of endurance of humans and their power of creation!

Who-so-ever said, the SECRET (of will power) doesn't exist.. The Eiffel proudly invites you!

4) The Bewada.. Yes Bewadi, be happy! I am calling myself the name! The whole rendezvous with wines and liquor, and the experience of being at home with Vodka..! TT, the Goa trip has shown its wonders here!

5) The Memoirs.. Or should I say, the Frisco Nostalgia? I still can feel the pain of not being able to locate the point of Sunset, the donut rock full of seagulls! The midnight swim beach.. The rocks which were witness to the overwhelming outburst of emotions.. The 3 friends, who were bonded over the most tough period of survival! Rachel and Annika, we have to be here again!

6) WORDS.. My Life.. "As mesmerizing as Universe" "A trickling sensation of water, wind and earth, all encompassed into!"

I am not too sure if the words in the language vocabulary will reveal the emotions! Manifestation of life..!

(The same day, as of American Desi experience, but in the lap of nature! A cluster of 3 lakes.. Single walkway passing through all.. Me, the lone soul walking! Trees alongside.. No artificial noise.. Winds blowing in face.. Smell of wet mud.. The ducks.. The red soil.. The setting sun and the rising moon! Genuinely, "A trickling sensation of water, wind and earth, all encompassed into!"

This is what I term, "let the nature be you!")


The Memoirs.. They can make one as nostalgic..

It reminds me of a quote by Charlie Chaplin, "I love to walk in rains, because no one can see my tears!"

AND, outside this window, I can see the rains lashing the Eiffel..

Am I busy..??

(Federal Warning.. This message is labeled, "Show off") ;-)

Why wud both of you dames ask me the same question? C'mon, I am not here to do time pass any all. Lol.. Though I can understand the genuine ( ?? ) concern behind it.. ;-) Hahahaha...

So, Mdm. MBA Bandarr & Mdm. Juari Bandarr, if you wud have known as to how I wrote this blog, surely, u'd be believing me.. And yes, rolling with laughter too! ;-)

So, one and all, wassup? Its been really long since I wrote! I have been on toes.. North Carolina was minute to minute packed! And the worst was the heat! 105 degree Fahrenheit! It was the first topic of discussion where ever I went! And the climate out there is as humid as Mumbai.. 60% humidity.. If I choose Carolina, I am not gonna miss home for the weather atleast! lol..

But, on a serious note, equally amazing was the experience! If ever the Indian education system wud become so student friendly..?? IF ever..

Will love to write bout it wenevr I can..
(Bandarr, before you say it, let me.. I know, I have started one more topic and leaving it incomplete, I'll try n complete it. Cos cant continue writing in my present situation.. ;-).. Lol..)

So, let me just get back.. And keep guessing, where does this blog come from.. ;-)

Cheers!

The Fling!

This was an article written by me on June 27, 2005! It was very relative to the then! But just as I was discussing htis with someone, I found this old thingy in my inbox! So, posting it again!

The Fling...!

Life is fun with its ups & downs, the tipsy-curvy way, the curved & the straight roads, sometimes a turn around, sometimes a roadblock! It's LIFE...

My life was same. Just that it was like that of white water, full of hustle n bustle. It was like "Bich bhawar me gud gud gote khaye.." And, happened my first fling when I was in fifth standard. The fling, which has sustained since then. Rather, it's seen a tremendous growth in last few years. Its, THE FLING...!

It's nothing else but my fling with Vipassana! This is the story of my affair, which transformed my life from __________ to __________. I purposefully avoid to use any adjectives in the blanks as they'll become relative to my perspective. Thus, after going through this story, may you decide on your own, what fits there.

Darshan Mundada.. The most unwanted! I was one of the most undesired as a child. Except for my family & a few very close relatives, it was all a negative approach for me. I remember times, when except for my Dad, I had no one besides. And, it was nothing of anyone's fault. It was my own negativity. A very hyperactive child, I could never sit at a place for more than a few seconds. No words or hands or sticks or any other means could stop me. My initial school life was worst. Not a single day passed without complaints. At times I was debarred, at times I was punished, at times, sent back home! It reached to the peaks, when school just wanted to throw me out. I had to change hands. It was a roadblock! But whatever happens, happens for good. At that point, I had my first crush.

Coming from a family where culture dominates, and parents being disciple of Vipassana, I was also recommended for the same. Actually, I already had my first introduction with the practice when I was just in 1st std. I'd attended a few 1 day children shibirs in Pune. But I frankly accept, the attraction at that time was not of the exercise but of the hot puri & batata bhaji with amazing mango murabba! The taste still rolls on my tongue. Later, on the insistence of Shri Asawaji, I did a 3-day children's course in Igatpuri in presence of Guruji Shri Satyanarayanji Goenka. It was a turning point. For the first time it so happened that, I was not blamed for doing anything in 3 days of the camp. It thus developed a sense of belonging in me..

A significant change started. So much so, that people openly started asking me, how come you are behaving well? Many other factors blending together, it gave a facelift to me. But still, the boat was not out of rough weather, as the captain was not yet stable. Again, last few years saw a few steep slopes n sharp curves in life. And up came a pending promise, The words I'd promised to Dadiji n Dadaji, that what so ever may come, I'll complete a 10 day Vipassana course once. After returning from USA, on priority I went for it. It was much more of a patient approaching the doctor, with no knowledge of the doctor's capacities & in turn, no confidence, neither in himself nor the doctor.

December 14 to 25, 2004.. The 10 days, which lead to a complete transformation. It lead to a life which I always wanted, full of satisfaction & peace. Satisfaction in what I am, what I have, what is me. Peace in being. It's just a feeling inexpressible in words. But all this said & done, it was not an easy task to complete a 10-day course. It was just the promise & will power which kept me going. First 5 days were just observation, as the whole theory was contradicting my trust in God n supernatural powers. Then came the evening of 6 th day when, during Guruji's cassette, he spoke about the correlation between both, The God & The Exercise. I could hear the Gita which I'd learnt since years, but for the first time, I did understand the true meaning. N, my perspective towards Vipassana changed! Changed forever, changing me forever..

Friends, that's the start of a story.. I know, this is not a platform to discuss individual, but still I narrated my part. Just for the sake, that may you all try once for this art! Its nothing extra, neither does it contradicts anyone's basic thought process. Its just logic to our living! I did it, & I know what difference that makes, may you all get an opportunity to experience the bliss..

(June, 2005)

...

Thats the situation! I think the steam was let off too much! Cos, not able to gather a single thought to pen down..

Hmmm.. "Rukawat ke liye khed hain!"

Will be back after a short break!

The Jetlag..!

I have been always proud of myself for 2 things.. Drinks cant get me high and jetlag cant get me down. And yes, the pride cracks..

The day I landed in Hague, I was sleepy like anyhting. And the irony was, at midnight 12, Hague was a s bright as evening 6:30 of summers, in India! India and Netherlands have a time difference of 3 hours, and with the addition o fday light saving, it is 4 hours. So, midnight 12 in the Hague meant Morning 4 in India.. So, I still take pride saying I was not jetlagged but it was natural! ;-).. lol

Aint it an amazign concept! When th ewhole world is cribbing about undue usage of resources, here is a simple idea, which saves a lot of energy. Because in summers, the sun rises early and sets late, the days are brighter. So, to utilise this, Europe, USA an dmost of the high latitude countries forwards their clocks by 1 hour. As quoted on one of the sites, "Daylight Saving Time "makes" the sun "set" one hour later and therefore reduces the period between sunset and bedtime by one hour. This means that less electricity would be used for lighting and appliances late in the day. We may use a bit more electricity in the morning because it is darker when we rise, but that is usually offset by the energy savings in the evening."

And to my surprise, from the bigfat search engine, Google, I came to knwo that India also had this concept at a point of time! WOW.. Thats good.. What is our energy and environment minister doing today?

As goes the Wildebahn..!

When I named this blog WILDEBAHN, I never knew, it will seriously take me to wild roads and I will write bout them some day!

Being on the old travelled paths after years is sure to take you down the road of memories! And the drive from SFO to San Jose was nothing different! It swarms back the memories of 2004.. Of the spur of moment trip to SFO to meet 2 friends. A journey, which changed my life for good forever! Bonded me with two other people from 2 other corners of the world! And today, I am back in this town. trying to recollect the name of the beach, where we 3 celebrated our friendships, our lives, the best moments of my US stay then!

Last few days have been pretty much busy! I first landed in Amsterdam and immediatly travelled to the I'nal city of law and justice, the Hague, or Den Haag, as called in Dutch! It is a city where an individual will love to live. Full of greenery.. Full of water bodies.. It is just amazing. As perfectly described by an European Mayor, "Cities are made for people, not otherwise..", as it is considered world wide. And beat this, my first intro with this city was, a typical Dutch accident. Can anyone of you imagine, what it has to be? An 84 year old man is banged down by a 18 year old girl. And what are they both driving? They are cycling.. Yes.. CYCLING.. The Netherlands is a nation, where the Minister of state also prefers to travel on a bicycle! Here is where I realised what fresh air means. Guys, there's loads for all of us to learn..

Yes, there's so much of Hague I have to share, that I will write bout it later. Right now I am just letting off a bit of the steam. Cos the internet was so expensive in the HAgue, that now in the US, it is my first priority to write! ;-)

Yeah, so after finishing of the conference in the Hague, and later spending an extra night in the city I am in love with, I flew for the STATES! The land where dreams are made, lives are lived, the land which we may hate to accept or love to deny, but in truth, rules the world! The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! Last time I was here, it was a 3 months stint! But today, when I was landing, it was a different emotion. I am sure, all me friends who are alreeady here or will be here in future, know what this feeling is. Waiting in the long line at the immigrations, and reading the board saying : VISITORS.. It gave a rise to loads of thoughts! And incidentaly, with Sanyukta's grace, I am reading the book, "Maximum City" by Suketu Mehta! Now, for immediate instance, you may not be able to place all these contexts together! Butas I will go an adding to this topic, surely, u all will react!

I have just landed and reached home.. I'll grab a quick shower and a brisk walk. Get back to you with loads of Wildebahn stories later.. Keep reading and reacting too..!

Is it going anywhere...??

9 years... Break..

6 years... Break..

5 years... Break..

4.. 3.. 2.. 1.. BREAK..

Weird, ain't it? Wat numbers, years and breaks? I too thought of the same, as weird as it could be.. Breaks ranging at any span from a few months to few years!

Ok, I spoke enough in code language. Last few months, I have been observing the relationship trends, and this is what it is. I have seen the best of the relations coming to a closure in a timespan. And the reasons, if we discuss on this platform, we will have whole lotta bunch of people rolling with laughter. Yet, these will be the one's who have been through it some or other time.

Relations seem to have become like the doll marriage which we had in kindergarten. A small tug, and the so called strong bond of a relation goes snap. What is it that has made our bondings, our emotions, our affinity so weak? And where is it going to take us?

(... This is just a start to a thought.. Probably it will evolve the next I blog..)

Clustrmap

The Blabber

Blabber Bird..!!

Click.. The mind is triggered..! A blog, started few months back has nothing in it. And suddenly, a serendipitous meeting becomes an inspiration to write.

It was meeting on life’s cross roads with a person. A normal human like you and me.. May be a bit ancestral, cos has a monkey smile.. ;-).. That’s the joke part of it! But, eventually yes, just another fellow human. And what was different that triggered my buzzer to write? It is the verbal instincts of that lady!

I have never met a person who can talk faster or swap topics any more or just go on and on with her words. An hour’s talk with her, if attributed to our former Prime Minister’s talking pace, would surely take him a few weeks to talk as much. And believe you me, it’s not an exaggeration. Only if your mind is capable of digesting multiple topics at a time, capable of comprehending with the switch overs' and remembering which topic was stopped where, cos you never know when it would be referred again. But when ever referred, you are assumed to recollect where ever it was stopped the last time! Ain't it tricky.. And mind you, it’s a business with a girl, cos if you don’t recollect, your memory is to be blamed, not the infinite topics covered in a few minutes.

So, what am I driving at? Terming it as noise pollution, or sheer wastage of human energy, evaporating through mouth?? OBVIOUSLY NOT.. Rather I am in awe of this person. And probably grateful too.. Grateful, because this blabber of hers is getting me back to my senses. It is teaching me patience. It is sharpening my mind to switch overs’ and memory to recollect minute details. If I may not forget, it is making me a good listener (It’s an assumption though..)

In AWE.. I mean in literal sense. One would wonder, how you keep on listening and listening and listening. And listening to what.. OK, that reminds of the ‘Basanti’ in Sholay.. Now I am sure, you get it what I mean.

I was just walking down the road. And came thought passing by.. At the age of 60, would I prefer to come back to a partner who’s serious and has few words to share, or has spoken all she had to and now its mere silence between us? Or would I want to come back to a partner, with whom, every new day has lots of new things to share. Every small rendezvous becomes a big story.. Think.. Right here, In her words, I’ll come back to this later!!

At the present pace of science & technology, and more specifically Communications & I.T., it is not far away, when we would die to hear a word of our dear one. Probably a hello from a long distance friend, tears of joy and pain of our close ones, caring words of mother, words of caution of our father.. The nagging partners. It would not be long.. When verbal language would be attributed to annals of history.. Not because we would not want it.. But because the soft communicators, like emails and chat would have taken over. Many other soft communicators may have been developed which I am not aware of. And this would lead to a silence, a silence which has never been experienced before.. It is like that story, where, in an I.T. company, an employee sneezes while working on his comp. Next moment, there’s loadsa mails in his inbox saying ‘God Bless’, but not a single word to hear.. And, we’d be just left with our desires to hear, to listen, to realize that our body has the sense of hearing!

And so driving back to my Question..?? Is this silence what I want? Or would I prefer a blabber bird, which will make my life alive..??

It’s not an individual question.. It's the question for the globe.. Does the globe want silence?? The way we miss chirping birds today? Or we want this enchanting blabber??

I have my answer.. I am sure, you have yours too..!!